What IS the point of clubbing???

a) to get molested
b) to molest others
c) to get wasted till you have to get kicked out through the 'passing out' aisle
d) to stand and pretend to dance to earblasting music

I'd say all the above

Not that I WANT to get molested or molest others, but 'what would you do' if some pretty HUGE guy comes up to you from behind on the dancefloor and stick his hands in the wrong area (when I don't even know him), and at the same time pull my hand towards his privates???

Can't someone have a good time without necessarily getting ANY attention??? It's times in clubs that I would rather be the ugliest chick alive, but then again the ugliest chick gets attention too, for being ugly....but who cares, THIS IS THE CLUBBING SCENE!!!

Sometimes I would go to a club by myself, but would be missing the person whose supposed to be 'watching out' for me. Get wasted and TOTALLY not have to remember a thing about what happened last night...not the case, I remember stuff, and have horrible after affects. DSRS(DSRS defined) it doesn't matter one drink or many, it still happens and lasts...a long long while (or that I just haven't been feeling all too good this time).

I guess it's just called an experience that needs to be recorded down

Next clubbing scene 'the Wendz' will be at:
PARADISE @ ALUMBRA
Time: 10pm till late
Time and Place Start Time: Thursday, September 27, 2007 at 10:00pm
End Time: Friday, September 28, 2007 at 4:00am
Location: Shed 9, Central Pier, 161 Harbour Esplanade, Docklands

General Admission: $25
www.alumbra.com.au

Note to self next time: "Prepare to be molested"
I don't wanna be the sober one EVER

Hunting poo-poo man

Hunting poo-poo man...what's that all about?

Well I went to work from 5.30-10pm last night, I had to walk through the front doors to start my shift, when walking through I see all these Safety yellow signs near the store entrance, and slight wet marks, and a poor cleaner trying to mop up something. I walked past thinking it smelt like vomit or something, but then I think to myself, that's pretty impressive to be spewing for 5 metres plus.

Not thinking much of it, I continued walking to the back of the store to the reception to clock-in. Back on the floor, all the managers are gathering round discussing the atrocity of the matter. It was a 30 or so year old man shitting himself that distance. Dribble and wet...seriously WEAR A NAPPY THEN. But my manager was like a metre of this actually occuring, a man walking past with a dark long jacket and this yellowy substance following him. My manager was walking to the refunds desk, thinks what on earth the liquid is, realises it and dodges it as the smell gave it away. Then after the matter, they reviewed the security camera footage and YEP the guy is indeed a running-walking poo-poo man. My manager was spraying lotsa perfume, but still it didn't cover the stench.

And to think this is during a TOY SALE where lotsa family members with kids are shopping trolley worth of toys, and NOT knowing they are walking around the store with shit residue on their shoes....so bad. We wanted sales, so it's best not to tell them "sorry you just stood in crap, happy shopping" that would be wrong, and we wouldn't have made budget. But we did, and blew the budget, so that's good.

But when I came in, Poo-poo man was gone, my other manager was like "should we contact security and get them onto him, he might be shitting himself all over the complex". I sorta feel bad for him for having such a disorder, but moreso sorry for all the customers and employees that have to witness or endure the after effects of Poo-poo man.

LOL
~Wendy

Dissappointing really

Dissappointing really

Choking can result in unconsciousness and cardiopulmonary arrest. It is often caused by food or other foreign body lodged in the throat (airway). Indeed, choking caused by foreign body airway obstruction accounts for about 3,000 deaths each year. The recognition and proper management of choking is of key importance to safety in homes, restaurants, and other public places.

I should pick up first aid again, even if it is to save my OWN LIFE. I would definitely come in handy for every dying situation I might get into again, seriously... I have been thinking about the redoing the first aid course for a long while, but First Aid Workplace level 2 = $175. I've done it before, maybe I'll just redo the CPR refresher course...dunno, I didn't really pass the test back in year 10, but they gave the certificate to me anyways.

My dying moment: I came home at 8pm, I had work at 9pm to 12am, so I was rushing dinner a bit. Dinner was lamb chops and vegies. My sister was at the TV playing Mario on the Nintendo Wii, mum was cooking so wasn't keeping an eye on me.

Here I am, forking and steak knifing the lamb chop, I should have either sliced it smaller, chewed it longer, or SHUT UP and EAT...but I choked on this lamb piece, like half in-half out, and seriously seeing my death coming quickly, I was crying, and trying to cough it out for about 30seconds or more.

I think I was definitely changing colour, I could feel it. I'm mostly dissappointed that my sis and mum are both there watching and hearing me choke to death. Mum forgiven since she was watching the stove, so she had a 'burn the house down' or 'watch daughter die' scenario, obviously me less important.

But my sis could have stopped playing, chucked the Wii controller, ran to the dinner table and given me some assistance or something. NO she turned round and just looked.

No chance, I had to SAVE myself, I actually stuck my hand in my mouth the remove the "foreign object" and eventually relieved my airway stress and was able to breathe again. But it was scary.

But after I caught my breath again, I sorta cracked it at her. Her words were "I don't know first aid, what was I suppose to do?...I have my mobile next to me, I can call for an ambulance if you needed it"

But come'on u stared for 30seconds, how long would it take to actually get onto that 000 call and actually follow their instructions, I woulda passed out already.

Dissappointed really, quite dissappointed.

AS for mum, yeah she knows first aid(sorta, hers expired WAY before mine) but she definitely knows what to do in a choking scenario, seeing she works at a nursing home, and choking is common for old folks, hence title of "grandma food" comes along. I call lamb shanks grandma food, I shoulda asked mum for some lamb shanks eh?

But whilst I was choking, the only person in my vision was my sister, I couldn't see my mum coz she was on the side of me, but my sister was in my general view; STRAIGHT AHEAD.

Sigh, I don't know whether I'll learn from my choking mistake, because I swear I've choked on food many times before, but nothing like lamb, perhaps a fish bone or a vegie, but MEAT is definitely a major killer to the 3000 deaths a year I reckon.

SO incase of someone choking, this is what to do: First thing is first, if you are the choker, try and prevent this scenario from happening; cut pieces smaller; chew food slowly and thoroughly; avoid talking, chewing and swallowing; and avoid excessive alcohol intake before and during a meal.

If person is conscious: ask if they are choking, if they can speak, cough or breathe it means they're trying to clear the airway and possible of expelling the foreign object. However if they cannot speak, cough or breathe, give abdominal thrusts from behind to help the victim expell the object. IF persons is obese or pregant, use chest thrusts. Continue until the obstruction is relieved. If victim is uncomfortable seek medical advice.

If person is unconscious, position victime on their back, with their arms on their sides, ask for assistance, call for emergency. Lift chin up, and try and remove foreign object with fingers, in cases it could be their tongue blocking airway, try and move it out. If unsuccessful give 6-10 abdominal thrusts. Once removed, begin ABC's of CPR.

A- Airway

• Place victim flat on his/her back on a hard surface.
• Shake victim at the shoulders and shout "are you okay?"
• If no response, call emergency 000 then,
• Head-tilt/chin-lift - open victims' airway by tilting their head back with one hand while lifting up their chin with your other hand.

B- Breathing

• Position your cheek close to victims' nose and mouth, look toward victims' chest, and
• Look, listen, and feel for breathing (5-10 seconds)
• If not breathing, pinch victim's nose closed and give 2 full breaths into victim's mouth
• If breaths won't go in, reposition head and try again to give breaths. If still blocked, perform abdominal thrusts
  

C- Circulation

• Check for carotid pulse by feeling for 5-10 seconds at side of victims' neck.
• If there is a pulse but victim is not breathing, give Rescue breathing at rate of 1 breath every 5 seconds Or 12 breaths per minute
• If there is no pulse, begin chest compressions as follows:
• Place heel of one hand on lower part of victim's sternum. With your other hand directly on top of first hand, Depress sternum 1.5 to 2 inches.
• Perform 15 compressions to every 2 breaths. (rate: 80-100 per minute)
• check for return of pulse every minute.

Seek medical assistance straight after.
I truly worry the next time I choke, and when I become unconscious, who'll CPR me if I'm not there to save myself???

Mummy tells me I'm not breastfed :(

Friday, June 08, 2007

Mummy tells me I'm not breastfed :(

Oh seriously I have no idea how da heck I got onto this topic, but I must have asked mum THAT somewhere along the way of a conversation. And she tells me that Jennifer was breastfed, and Jackie was breastfed and I WASN'T.

See rivalry at birth already. Perhaps that's what makes me different from the others, and ...more normal
But its been said that babies that are breastfed at birth tend to be more smart...well I say scientific evidence proved that wrong, and us FORMULA babies that RULE!!!! LOL I dun remember what formula I had though, so I can't recommend which baby milk powder would make your children, smart like me

Then makes me wonder... if I was a premature baby, then why I didn't I get mummys milk? HEHE sorry, funny topic, gotta laugh my way through. And fat arse bro was born late, and wouldn't come out till CHRISTMAS DAY!!! I have legitimate reasons to call him that, coz a) he WAS a big fat baby, that was overweight and just wouldn't come out and b) he STILL is a fat arse bro, who does everything late.

Lil' sis also wasn't born to be the beautifulest of babies, at birth, she looked like a little brother, that suddenly grew up to be a beautiful girl. I feel bad now that I always teased her, that she wasn't mum and dads, and that she was probably swapped at birth, or the nurses got it all wrong, but that's only because the parents and relatives always wondered who this little girl looked like in terms of genetics. She doesn't really look like any of the family. But now people say she looks like me. HEY I didn't give birth to her...why look at me?

Sorry bout the high ego here, but I was the cutest baby of the bunch, coz I was little, and looked like the parents. Seriously I compare my baby photo, to my dads baby photo, we look quite alike, when I looked at it, I wondered if that was me in the black and white photo.
Now, ever since like forever, when I walk round with mum it's "oh mother and daughter, you two look alike" which mum would always sarcastically go "hehe we're sisters" just to make herself sound younger, or that I was compared to my HK cousin, "Oh it's “Stanley Ngs' younger sister" funny that, we both have the same surname too, so that didn't bother me as such, plus I never really lived in HK, so I wouldn't have a clue.

Where was I? Breast milk!!
Apparently the benefits of the above include:

• Protection from gastrointestinal troubles, respiratory problems, ear infections- no wonder I have so much gas JK, had asthma as a kid, and ear infections HRMMM does having dreams of being deaf count?
• Reduction of developing allergies- why yes I have allergies to YOU...JK but I generally get hayfever the easiest, allergy to flowers, pollen, lawn, cats, lotsa furry things, YEP I get sick the most, so when I am sick, noone really cares, coz it's NORMAL for me.
  
• Boosts childhood intelligence- I actually felt stupid from Prep to Year 5, it wasn't till the Grade 5 teacher gave me that multiplications tape that I began to increase my IQ. 1x1 is 1, 2x2 is 4, 3x3 is 9....etc. I knew my timestable really well after that, and pretty much advanced in High School maths too.
• Prevent obesity later in life- Errrr does that mean when I get fat, there's no return I shall have to go on BIG FAT LOSER????
• Prevent type 1 diabetes- Uh OH, that's why I dun eat as many lollies as other kids, TRUE THAT
• Prevent premature babies from infection and high blood pressure- makes no sense, I have low blood pressure.
• Lowers baby's risk of sudden infant death syndrom- MUMMY HOW COULD YOU!?!?!?!?!?
• Reduces some forms of cancer- oh no, I better get checked for everything then
• For the mum: helps loose weight, lower stress levels, and prevents osteoperosis- I guess Jennifer and Jackie were just troublesome babies then HAHAHA, I'm also the odd one coz I don't have the letter J in my name, maybe I shall be Judith...NAAAAH

I might find that baby pic of me and dad for comparison...some day and recheck my eyes on it LOL

What a day to start off with: WATER RESTRICTION STAGE 10

Thursday, June 07, 2007

What a day to start off with: WATER RESTRICTION STAGE 10

I'd reckon this is probably what Water Restriction STAGE 10 would be like: ABSOLUTELY NO WATER within certain times of the day. They should do that more often, if councils REALLY wanna save water...do it by cutting peoples' water supplies off *wink wink nudge nudge*

Our neighbourhood had its water cut off for the hours of 10am to 3pm today, although there was available drinking water supplied at the end of the street, I didn't really wanna walk all that way to get it. I waked up late, so I couldn't do the normal stuff with our natural water supply. So I had to brush my teeth with yesterdays urn water, and clean my face with a serviette and that water...I said to myself, I might continue to save water this way, though in the long run, might not be too good on my health. That water is umm errr a bit OLD and ....brown.

So all day, limited water drinking, toilet usage, and eating. Coz it would be nasty if I happened to have any upset stomach, requiring a toilet and then the HORROR of not being able to flush, that would be awful :P If worst comes to worst I was gonna drive up to Box Hill and use their public toilets(maybe that's why I sometimes see people brushing their teeth there).

I did survive the water drought of the household for the day, and some dimwit forgot to turn off the tap this morning, and it was gushing when the water came back, and overflowing in the bathroom. I dunno if that dimwit was me...but I'm normally not that careless, so I'll just shift blame and blame the elder ones.

Naturally without water, hygiene becomes a major issue to worry about. What does my brother do? PEE in the garden, great eh? Total privacy eh? How'da heck am I to know when his peeing schedule is? Though I think it's totally wrong (I didn't see anything though). HE'S KILLING THE PLANTS, not fertilising, I mean the amounts of liquids he drinks, I reckon he's peeing acid. So DRINK MORE WATER LADS!!!! I don't wanna know when he needs to take a dump, I sure don't hope the ones he finds in the garage is his (lately there has been piles of crap in there, his accusing possums, dogs, cats and even grandma LOL). And seriously, do guys wash their hands after they pee pee, or simply just dip it in water and call it clean? I dun wanna touch anything my bro touches after he pee pee :S Makes me wanna do what the mums does in that TVB drama and carrying cleaning materials all the time, and wiping everything that may or may not have BACTERIA on it.

Remind me why are we saving water? Because it's a limited resource right? Then why is it sooo cheap? I checked the last water bill, and it was only $18 for a month. Why don't they just UP the price? That way people might actually STOP wasting water. Now I don't get why I spend more to BUY water at supermarkets, when it's like $1 a a bottle, which ain't even one litre. So save water, drink your home water, saves money in your wallet too. Or I shall go and become a water accountant (no joke, there is such thing, began February 2007, that's your teaching for today).

Cheers
Wendy

So annoying...

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

So annoying...

When I'm actually in the mood to ACTUALLY study, the timing ain't right.
People just have to put things infront of me to postpone that studying...and then after I just loose interest, and it's procrastinating time again.

MUM wants me to tape her TVB dramas.
You might ask why don't I just set the timer? Thing is that she wants the commercials skipped, and that manual taping will overrule anything going wrong, bits being cut off, etc etc. But sometimes I fall asleep, or accidentally forget to repush the record button, and then I have to retape it at it's repeat time, which is like midnite onwards =.="

And cooking, mum doesn't get home till late late, or that she runs away to the casino or the local RSL, makes her sound like a addicted gambler, but she just goes to take out all her stress...even if that is loosing money.
We all have our stress relief. One form or another.

In a recent convo my sister had with her counsellor, discussing her problems, family problems etc, she was asked how our brother took over the stress of the parents relationship, he implied that Jackie did so by being rude, Jennifer by crying and being upset, and then when he asked her "how do you think you sister releases her stress?" her answer was "nothing, she's the most normal one".

When she told me this, I was like SUPER HIGH, I AM NORMAL- in a weird way. She did say weird after telling me, but naturally that doesn't affect me. But I am HAPPY I am NORMAL, and perceived NORMAL
LOL BAH HA HA HA hearing that just makes me slightly mental, but in a good way.

And then when I told people, they were like OMG what is your sister saying, you're absolutely insane and that's why I love you.

GEE WIZZ so what am I then? Insane, weird or normal? - I'll be happy to take them all AS ME. Coz infact...ssshhhh don't tell anyone...but...I...do...think...I...am...the...most...normal...one...out of the three. HEEHEE

Despite middle child syndrome...eeehhhhh...WHAT middle child syndrome?

Don't worry, thatisme4u, so deal with it!!!!!!!!

I'm Deaf

Monday, June 04, 2007

I'm Deaf

I had another bad dream, a dream that I was going to be deaf.
A dream that I was hearing impaired.
A dream that I needed a hearing aid-AGED 19

OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME...WHY AM I HAVING SUCH WEIRD WEIRD DREAMS?
I'm not stressed, well I don't think I am. I'm telling people I'm not stressed about exams.
People ask me whether I was worried? I said no, "worrying is for worriers" like "loosing is for losers"

Anyhoo, I gonna add to my slogan wallpaper the A3 piece of paper, which says "Stress less, stay fresh and god bless" - a new associate in Uni told me this one, he told me he used to say it to his old Human Resource Manager, which happens to be my current Human Resource Manager. I still have yet to say it to her though. I think it's a good saying, despite being non-religious, you can always god bless people.

It sure beats the other two slogans I have on my wall: TOP BALLS (for the Top Notch Balls thing, though I added the Notch on the computer, so Top Balls is what I hand-drew) and STOP BUYING CRAP (which really doesn't help, coz I still manage to buy crap, it was an idea for myself to save money, and not waste it on silly pointless items, though it doesn't really work well).

I tend to cover my wall with personal wallpaper, or anything really. Coz it's PINK!!! I dun like pink, the walls are pink, the curtains are pink, the wardrobes are pink, even a painting I have in the room is pink (though I like this painting it's like sunset in the country). So basically I try to cover the pinkness. Looks to girly. At the moment I've got the postcard thingy happening, collecting them free postcards and sticking them on the border of the ceiling, though only one is a REAL postcard. Send me one if you happen to go overseas. I even have an old Mr. Potato Man calendar dismantled and stuck to my wall, and I intend to finish some of these puzzles I bought (crap) and put em up. I got 7x 1000 puzzles, I'll never get 'em done, but it's worth trying right?

Cheers
Wendy

Perceived elder son, perceived maid, perceived responsible one...

Perceived elder son, perceived maid, perceived responsible one... ...any more with that? So much so, that I had a bad dream last night. A dream that I HAD A PENIS!!!! Musta been a combination of calling my older brother-little brother, parents trusting me TOO MUCH, and the banana story that happened last night. So what's the banana story you say? Nothing huge. Just last night I went to the casino for a birthday, one of the guys were carrying his entire schoolbag and in his lunchbox, he had a banana. The staff made him take out the banana and carry it around, coz they weren't allowed to mind their fruit, I think it's coz people my gamble till some ungodly hour and the fruit might go off or something like that. So here he is, a ~6 foot white guy with a banana in his pocket. Tell me that is FUNNY PLEASE!!! I mean you can't carry weapons but you can carry a banana around??? o.O I mean, how often are bananas used for a replacement gun stick-up. OMG I can see how lame it is, every single commuter of the casino carrying bananas for self-defence, what will this world come to? Then it reminds me of this scene in the Chasers war, when the banana market got seriously wiped out by a hurricane, which raised the price of bananas to $13 or something, they started to make banana as a new currency, and went around trying to buy stuff with banana currency, where nobody would accept it. It was funny. I guess the main concern of this blog is what prompted the PENIS dream, suggestions please. It's not like I haven't had weird dreams before, I've probably been known to have wacky dreams, if you haven't heard so already. Though that was a time of major sleep deprivation, insomnia, sleeping pills, and living day and night(through dreams, coz they were just so real). Here are a few: Being stuck in quarantine with a bowl of noodles at HK airport, with mum, grandma and sis(no guys apparently). We all had bowls of noodles whilst walking with 'em. Then a moment later they all DIDN'T have their bowls and chopsticks anymore, but I still had mine, so what did I do with it, went to the restroom, leave the bowl and chopsticks and went to the loo. My friends(not mutual) joining forces and dissing another friend on a rollercoaster ride that seemed to surround a tall glass building, though it was slow...I was pretty sure it was a rollercoaster...then I wondered how they talked at such fast speeds. Was it going in slow motion? Someone stealing my already done Rubix cubes and replacing it with screwed up 3x3, 4x4, 5x5, swapping them each time I had completed them, each time getting harder and harder. Meeting up with an old primary school pal, that I hadn't talked to since then, and skydiving into a very deep deep valley. Observing the view from a toilet on a balcony with glass surrounding at all the uni students walking past, not knowing people on toilets above are watching them. One friend seriously hurting another friend whilst walking through a hardware store. Final words, if I ever have a normal dream, I will tend not to remember them, it is only dreams of wacky nature that tend to stick, and the weird thing about it. It's SOOOO realistic. Though I still hate the ones where I get chased and having to wake up panting, they were tiredsome and scary. THE END

Federal budget review

Federal budget review It's taken me THIS long to finally read this federal budget section from THE AGE, dated May 9, 2007. It's been sitting on my bed for THAT long, a main reason in why I wanted to read it, was that as a consumer, I should be notified of my benefits I can rip off the government. So here, I list the ones that are applicable to me, or many who also fall into the category of uni/tafe student with elderly people :P Here goes: - Carer payment recipient to get $1000 lump sum. Can I get some for "caring" for an 80 year old :P - Child care benefit increased 10%. Maybe I should start giving birth just to get some "kaching" in my pocket - $2.1 billion to be spent over next decade encouraging young people to join and stay in defence forces. Maybe I should join the army and be MACHO -$457 million for student tuition vouchers. GIMME A TUTOR NOW!!! -Extra $15.8 million over four years to help disadvantaged job seekers, including those with mental illness and drug addictions find employment. YES YES I'm weird and I overdose on Panadol. So help me, help me! -Diabetes, obesity, dental care and medical research are the main recipients for $51.8 million health spending.OK if I start overindulging on sweets and chocolate, and what not, I'll need all the above just in time for next year...and yes dental care AGAIN...no problems you can cut me up for some research..just ignore the fatty tissues :P -$20.6 million extra over the next four years for mental health services. Here, here, look at me, look at me!!! -$566 million for Victorian roads and railways next financial year.WOOP DI DOO DA, make it wider, coz I'm hopeless at driving...please :P -$25 million to upgrade Whitehorse/Springvale Road intersection in Nunawading. YAY that way I can get to my other house easier (I hope) coz traffic sucks there -Junior apprentices to get annual $1000 payment to top up wages. Quit uni, and become an apprentice bricklayer eh? Chick bricklayers HRMMMMM??? -Government to make one-off payment that doubles co-contribution for 2006 for low-to-middle income earners.YAY another $1500 for my retirement -For every $1 of after-tax super contributions, government's co-contribution will be $3 instead of $1.50, up to maximum of $3000 for eligible taxpayers. HEEHEE *sniggers* I'm gonna be filthy rich when I'm 65!!! Gonna use retirement money for house buying, bungee jumping and skydiving, OH what a life for a 65 year old fart. If you wanna enjoy this pleasure and leisure at that age too, start working the superannuation benefits. Those who don't think now, and think "oh I'll be $1000 less of money to spend this year" then you're stupid. That amount will work up to be many thousands, and possibilities of withdrawing that amount earlier is possible to. So why not rip the government co-contributions??? Free money!!! Stupid if you don't (implying brother). Side note-don't kill me, unless you have been guaranteed as a recipient of my superannuation, if I die. -From July 1st, income threshold increased THE NEW TAX RATES Tax rate Thresholds 2006-2007 New Thresholds 2007-2008 New Thresholds 2008-2009 % $ $ $ 0 0-6,000 0-6,000 0-6,001 15 6,001-25,000 6,001-30,000 6,001-30,000 30 25,001-75,000 30,001-75,000 30,001-80,000 40 75,001-150,000 75,001-150,000 80,000-180,000 45 150,000+ 150,000+ 180,000+ Although the real benefits aren't till 2008-2009, there is still a way to get taxed less. Start increasing your tax-deductibles, start donating to those Salvos and ask for a receipt :P Well that's all from your future tax accountant For I am Wendy Ng, remember that name, I won't be tax-deductible, and charge you full fare (friend or no friend) I gotta make a profit somewhere ya know? Yours truly ~Wacky Wendy

And when I thought it was over....

And when I thought it was over.... I'd been told I have to have retainers for another 6 months. I mean yeah, it's good in that it helps it keep the teeth in a sturdy position until they have become accustomed to its new feel and all. But a top and bottom retainer gets annoying. I had them in for one evening already, and I think I need to attend speech pathology classes or something, I can't speak properly, I sound like a baby, and probably when dad gets back again, he's gonna judge me on my speaking again and call me a spastic. It's an annoying feel, having this bit of smoothened plastic which my tongue rests on, and I am so tempted to just lift it and catapult it to whoever sits infront of me :P Had to get up early for 8:15am debanding appointment, which involved taking the braces off, all that clipping and wire pulling, filing and electronic drilly thingy, I still got the whole image in my head. Seriously I had like an audience watching, the trainee dental nurse, the actual dental nurse, the receptionist, a dentristy student and of course the orthodontsist. First Dr. Wong clipped between the metal pieces and where the tooth was, so where the glue is basically, it sounded soooo metallic. Then when he got to the ends where there is a PIECE of metal wrapped around my back teeth, something similar to a screwdriver was used to unskew it, so that the entired of the metal stuff came out in one piece. That was excruciatingly painful. After that came the filing tool (manually), scraping away any excess glue stuck on my teeth, reminds me of nails on chalkboards. But that's not it, more refined filing required, this time with the electronic drilly thingy, a suction and water at the same time, I mean seriously how many more tools do you need in there. He also had the little mirror thing. OMG I nearly gagged coz one of the metal things went down my throat, lucky Dr. Wong saw it and suctioned it out. Or I woulda killed the trainee dental nurse. But that's not all, he changes the drill end to what seems like a mini-disc, a rotating disc that is attached to the end, and by looks of things it didn't look tight at all, in that it could fall off any soon and give someone a very gruesome plastic surgery. Finally the process of removal is done, but wait theres more...MOULDS!!!! If you have ever done this, you would know it is so hard to breathe through your nose, when there is cement looking thing going down your throat and attached to your teeth, and that could very well rip em all out. It gets messy. But the retainers, I got a fluro mauve colour, I didn't wanna go for pink, I was very tempted to get green, but thought to myself, people might think why I still have toothpaste in my mouth or something. I did get a green box for em though :P I didn't get the retainers till 5:30pm. Having no braces and no retainer yet, was quite a strange feeling. At first it seemed like I had aged, and that my lips felt like they were drooping, then the tongue gets touchy and runs down the front of the teeth like it's never done that before, and realising how smooth it was (yeah they missed each other :P) And then looking into the mirror and realising the teeth to gum ratio was such a difference, not used to having soooo much WHITE hehe. Now I shall have to practise smiling more. AND I did get that Toblerone I was after, however haven't started at it, I had my first meal braces free, the minute I came home from the orthondist. Fatty salmon, fried rice and chicken, which was at 10am. When I went back to him in the arvo, he's like what you eat...I said breakfast LOL It was true though, I didn't have anything else to eat after that. So next time you see me, please try not to say "sorry, say that again" too many times, it might hurt my feelings, coz it's not like I don't know how to speak, it's now that I have a new lisp (man I can't even say that word properly) Cheers Wendy

How much can one change?

I’ve heard the words “you’ve changed” so many times in the past year or so, I wonder the actualities of it. Have I changed that much??? I know I have gone through a lot of physical changes, in that going through braces was a general procedure, not that much of a difference, then came the surgery in July 2006, which changed my facial bone structure, having incisions to the top and bottom jaw. BUT did that change ME???

Dad said to his sister in America: “when she was ugly she had a kind heart, now that she’s beautiful she’s a bit of a snob” in Chinese. Seriously, am I THAT much of a snob now eh? I know my dad jokes around in a mean sense, but sometimes it causes me to dwell on the thinking of why and what, and THINK TOO MUCH.

I asked mum once, “am I THAT DIFFERENT???” she said “yeah, you’re not as nice as you were, you don’t do the dishes unconditionally no more, I missed the old you that did chores for me with no questions asked” also in Chinese. Hmmm then I think…do people just use me coz of my kind, kind nature (am I kind?).

Seriously if they knew it was gonna change me, would they have brought me to the dentist in the first place? What was the idea of fixing my jaw? What’s the idea of making me look all beautiful?

My brother went through the same process, having the same jaw operation and the same duration of braces, but thing is he has a retainer, and doesn’t bother to wear it, doesn’t bother to keep his jaw condition the new way. Instead he leaves it, doesn’t take care of it, and complains to the parents (mainly mum) why did you make me go through the process of this? Why did you make me have the surgery? He’s changed; he’s become more of an idiot, more of a person who doesn’t listen, more of an imbecile. A jaw surgery isn’t a cheap surgery, it costs a lot, many thousands, and he neglects it like THAT??? =.=”

I’m not like that, I am grateful that I look better. Just the change is contradicting my own thoughts, and any time I get complimented with “you are sexy/beautiful/lovely” by absolutely random people (on Myspace, gotta stop that addiction) I just can’t help but crack up and laugh, or something. I just don’t believe such words, coz I feel so negative about myself, such words just seem unbelievable. I’ll be amazed if anybody compliments my negativity- “Wendy your demented eyes are beautiful”, “your lope sided ears are my honour” MEH, I’m just making stuff up, it’ll never happen, or I would crack up as well, coz that is just so strange to say without cracking up personally.

Tomorrow I’m getting my braces off, that’ll mean I’ll look different again…more contradicting thoughts. I’m happy, and unhappy at the same time…not that I would really want braces for eternity. Just that I’ve had it for so long, without it would be quite strange. Will my teeth shift? Etc etc. The friends that have gone through it, have told me that it’ll feel like your teeth are gonna fall out when you first talk, I’m like WTH??? Getting worried, I gotta get up super early too for it, then have uni during the day, and then have to go back in the afternoon to get a retainer done.

I was looking at supermarket catalogues last night, and said to myself, once you get your braces off, the first thing you’re gonna buy is TOBLERONE. Wishful thinking is always good thinking.

Anyhoo, wish me luck, and my teeth don’t fall out :P
Cheers
Wendy

People come and go

People come and go It's so sad to know that certain people come and go, without being noticed, or without your acknowledgement (not that they have to), but life is life and people have their ways. I can't keep them infront of me all the time. Thing is, I just find it strange lately that a certain someone, with a certain name leaves, and another person with the same name reappears. Well, it's not like it's not possible, seeing that you probably have the same name as like many thousands around the world. I just find it weird sometimes how it seems like they haven't left, they just came back as another person...but now that just sounds insane, so I'll shut up. But to build a friendship after so many years of working together or being with one another, it's just like a little bit of "something" being taken away from you. Not being able to joke around, have a little laugh together, give one another a hug or hi-five. I guess it will just get missed. A manager that I've gotten quite used to; with his existence around the company, finally finished his manager traineeship and moving to another store. I'm gonna miss his funny jokes, his limping leg, his gigantic bodice, and friendly HI's. In general I will miss him...I didn't even know he was only 20 LOL...he reminded me of a High School friend, in that he would always say "Hi Wendy" everytime, and then make fun of me or something of that nature...it's really hard to bond well with managers these days, coz most times they shut off people, and stick to their managerial positions, hardly any of them will have a friendly chat with you...I guess that's why the store manager gets so lonely, and everybody hating him. I'll miss Sam very very much. But I met another Sam in my day-to-day basis, he's my group member for a group assignment, and SUPER SMART...I wonder what benefits I can rip off him HAHA :P And another colleague of mine is leaving as well. I'm gonna miss her, she was awesome, a good pal, and always so happy to see me working (coz I do so much to help her :P ). Yeah, but she's gonna work for another business after 5+ years, she's been working longer than I have at that Target. But she was cool. Her name was Molyka, nicknamed Mo, or Mojo, but the awesome bit was she didn't mind being called Mojo, just like I don't really care being referred as Wing-man now, coz it is my name. But I'll miss her too. Bye Bye Mojo. I wonder when I leave the Target store will there be people missing me...that way, and not just my hard work and efforts in the business. I dunno. I don't really talk to other staff, the way I talked to Mojo, besides work and how crap work is, or how crap customers is, or how crap the store looks, and the amount of work we have to do. I dunno, sometimes a few would go "Where have you been Wendy, I haven't seen you in AGES" but yeah, people come and go, as with good relationships.

Do you ever do things just to get noticed???

Do you ever do things just to get noticed??? Do you??? Just to get people to notice you... to know that you DO exist...and IS around??? I guess it DOES have something to do with me being the middle child, or that I find ways to entertain myself by entertaining others first. I don't know, sometimes I do things to entertain others even if it means putting myself in a bad position, and seriously embarassing myself...but it's only ever appears in people who know me. IN an outside environment, that wacky wendy nature DOESN'T appear. But lately I've opened to alot of new people at university...suddenly I have a HELL LOT more friends now. I'm lovin' it though. A main reason was that I joined mid-week social night, not because "I needed friends, and need to join a social night to do so", no that is not the case, I went because my friend was a volunteer and wanted me to join, but then after attending a few, I quite enjoy being with a group of people that not necessary have to be talking about study, but to generally have fun. I must say doing these social nights, I am actually having fun. I had been to Salsa dancing, partnered up with a lad and learned the sensual dance, though two people with two left feet, we sorta stepped on each other many times, then another night I went to, was Aikido Self-defence, again pairing up with a lad, because all the chicks had paired up with chicks, but I didn't care. The point of the night, to protect yourself with little effort, so ended up strangling, holding, gripping onto each other, and learning the steps to get out of the situation. It was funny seeing everyone strangling/purposely hurting one another. And just last Wednesday, I went to Japanese night, which involved watching the art of flower arranging called Ikebana (I swear the dude was talking about kabana sausages LOL), did origami, made sushi, eats lots of sushi, drink green tea and had fun. But I enjoyed it all, and I plan to go to the rest of the social nights, which involve chocolate night, bingo night, etc etc. But what's the point of this blog. WHAT am I doing to get noticed in the household? What did I do? ...I tied my fringe up, so it looked like a fountain (my brother called it that), so I waved it to my brother and go "are you jealous I have hair (still waving it)" He said no, but I'm sure he did LOL. Why because he recently shaved his own head. And then mum goes "you look like a candle wick, can I light it up" but then my sister wasn't on a funny note, and said "you look absolutely ridiculous" but that didn't crush me, tying it up and making a fool of myself and enjoying and laughing was the idea of it. If only everyone else enjoyed my crazy moments...noone would be sad. Cheers Wendy

The coming of age???

Would you feel bad if you had a huge desire to put your grandma in a nursing home, because of old age, and what follows with that???

I mean, I'm slightly getting to the point that I can't take it. I mean I don't know how my mum works with it everyday, but her tolerance of it at home is just not the same, she doesn't get paid for it at home. And I totally feel the same way.

What on earth are you on about Wendy???...when your grandma/grandpa/any other elderly relative begins to not be able to control their bladders, how would you put recommending TENA aka nappies??? It's not once it's happened, and it's definitely not just liquids I'm talking about here. Sorry for the graphic images, but there is only one way to tell the story, and that is being all graphic about it :P What to do when you start seeing smudged crap in wrong spots??? Now who smudges that stuff near the the buttons of the toilets???...well the facts are obvious, someone had a bad time and obviously did a crap job in hiding their incapabilities to get to the toilet ON TIME.

And HELL NO I'm not cleaning it, coz I ain't angry...and then mum goes on about "how angry do you need to get before you'll clean the toilet again Wendy"...lets just say, not in a long while, coz I've gone for the silent treatment method, coz I'm not going to clean the toilet, and my room is still looking clean since its revealing :P

Back to old age, yes how do those family members decide whether to put their ancient ones to other peoples care??? It may seem easier in Western cultures, but ASIANS O_O they would get all iffy about it, and those that I do meet at the elderly home, are indeed "gu dook lo yun" (lonely old people) with no close relatives at all, with droopy unhappy faces on them...seriously should put a Mahjong table there, that way their fake teeth will fall out, from too much happiness.

Off the elderly topic, onto the generation above mine, my mum went and bought a record player o_O to play 50c records that come from the OP SHOP, of artists I've never even heard of...Garfunkle, that sounds like some new mouthwash name, Neil Diamond (is he an actor as well???) and Kamahl (he sings??? I only know him from the Vanilla coke advert..."the taste is REALLY smooth") and many more that I have no idea who they are, and where they come from. The only band that I would know, would be ABBA, great Karaoke classics, that I can actually sing to. Mum actually went and bought an ABBA record =.=, coz she thought I would like it...to an extent, I was only singing it that day, coz I was slightly high on something (perhaps, or thatisme4u).

(HAHA sooo god damn sexy LOL)

THE END

Movies shit me

Well not really...just that it's annoyed me over the weekend, and put me off watching Spiderman 3. But I did want to see ANY movie that wasn't quite my "cup of soup"...whatever that is. I mean I went to the cinema, after uni to Chadstone, my friend goes "why, everything would be closed when you get there", and my reply "bleh I just wanted to". When I got there, it was like one minute before Spiderman 3 was about to screen...just that, I WASN'T INTERESTED.

Everyone has been raving to me about how great it is, what a good movie it was, what anticipation they have gone through waiting for it to screen, oh what hairy arms Mary-Jane has. BLEH DON'T CARE, NOT SEEING IT.
Instead I went and saw "The Reaping" a suspense horror film, the other option I was gonna choose was "The number 23" starring Jim Carrey...and the other movies, well they just didn't appeal to me AT ALL. I just wanted to be freaked out, somehow.

Who wants to know the plot of the movie??? Fine, I'll ruin it all for you. Actually I didn't think the scary bit was the movie, despite many images that would probably scare the living shits out of you, which sent many shivers down my back(many times) watching it alone (yes, I was the only one in the cinema, me and the person screening it for me to watch). Actually there was a Hoyts staff with a torch coming in to actually check to see if I was in there, which was kinda scary, coz who expects people with torches shining at you in a HORROR film???
It's about a science professor, Katherine believes in facts as to miracles, after the lost of her daughter and husband in Sudan. She has proven supposed miracles in all places of the world, with scientific investigations. Until she is brought upon a town with a "bloody" river, and what seems to be a reoccurence of the 10 Biblical Plagues(which had been scientifically proven). But despite her strong will to prove what seems to be happening with cold hard facts, the evidence that is taken from the investigations don't add up. Slowly she starts to believe the existence of the story, and that Satan's existence is real. And all ten plagues evolve, killing the livestock, killing the first borns, etc etc, to create a perfect child.

Okay think I scare you all. Thing is, I don't get the the point of the film, she is summoned to solve the mystery of the town, and that they all seem to die, but then she has the "perfect child" within her, and Satan(within the spooky child) continues to exist...yeah I was lost, but also scared, I still have the freaky images in my head. I didn't really sleep all the well after it. Seriously the things I do to myself. I must reconsider. My uni friend couldn't believe I went and saw The Reaping by myself, and called me insane...so there.

Word of warning : Wendy is insane.
Final words: M Rated my arse :P
(I'm still shivering talking about the movie)

Random thought of the day

"We're so imbecile, we're searching up how to spell imbecile"- quoted to my sister

Why??? Because we're imbeciles, it's not that we didn't know what it meant, but we didn't know how to spell it. Picking my sister up, I just randomly said "do you know how to spell imbecile" coz I wasn't quite sure myself, but for that 5-10 minutes drive going home, we felt soooo stupid, trying to figure out how to spell this stupid word.

But it was hilarious. First came with things like imbosile, imbisile, imbesile, and then after saying the words over and over again, we began to feel the meaning of it- yes that is MENTAL RETARDATION

LOL actually the reason behind the word coming to existence that day, was that my brother being a complete imbecile, you'd reckon by the age of 23 that you'll realise not to put something metallic in the microwave. Well there you go "WHAT AN IMBECILE". Ok the microwave didn't explode, we're all safe, coz SUPER MUM came to the the rescue!!!

The difference between rich and poor

The difference between rich and poor

McDonalds, when you were young you would save up all your little coins, just for a cone or Happy Meal, or if you have been to a state of extreme poverty in a first world county…being denied EFTPOS at McDonalds on a cheeseburger. Yes I have gone there, I have been to that state and what an embarrassing moment it was for me =.=”

But on the other hand, you may experience richness, when you get to the point where you’ve got a job and disposable income and cheeseburgers are like loose change. Thank God that is what I am now.

But I still always have my rich and poor moments, depending on my $$ levels in my Savings account, and also dependent on whether I have time to transfer money to THAT Savings account.

Do I prefer having cash, credit, or money in my Savings account? Why, of course I would prefer all in maximum amounts, but not always the case. Credit I have a limit of $500, and I always underestimate the amount I have left to kill. I don’t think purchasing a cheeseburger on credit is quite a good look either. Signing a piece of paper for a value of $1.85(can’t really remember the price of a burger these days, coz it’s become so insignificant to me now) completely worth it? I don’t think so. But then many people fall into the trap of using only the credit card for large amounts, making maxing out the credit card a matter of seconds in a shopping mall.

After watching the 2007 Comedy Festival Gala I was tempted to log online and donate XXX amount to Oxfam and help those poor innocent kids. But then I just payed off a $107 parking infringement fine. Does Tax Deductible totally mean much? What does Tax Deductible actually mean? That the government actually pays those starving kids? AS with uniform being tax deductible? Through my knowledge…tax deductible just means that it won’t be included into your taxable income. So does this mean you should donate more, so you don’t get taxed more, is this how to work the taxing system? Well dependable on your actual income, and your actual donations, it could possibly work, I dunno.

But then I just read the top 5 internet scams, most of them come from Nigeria, Africa. Should I really be trusting Oxfam, that the donations would directly HELP these children, as will World Vision and other donating organisations. Will those $1 a day ACTUALLY HELP THEM, and GET TO THEM??

I mean I don’t know if I’ve previously mentioned this before, but I have received a personalised letter addressed to “Wendy Ng” and my address printed on it, from the Salvation Army, asking for a donation for a poor little girl named Kate, whose has many many siblings and hobbies include netball, board games…Playstation 2 and XBOX O_o She has TWO VIDEO CONSOLES and STILL requires donations from me?? I DON’T EVEN OWN A VIDEO CONSOLE!!! Well my brother does but not that “NEW”. Ours is still the very first Nintendo, which is probably somewhere enjoying the dust, and a Sega Dreamcast, that is OUT OF DATE. So why should I still donate to this “poor” little girl? Man, she seems more well off than me…so ….to the recycling bin pile.

I reckon I would only donate to organisations that really require my money and DEFINITELY less well off than me. I don’t know how many people actually have the conscience to donate. But most people donate for the wrong reasons. I know I’ve done that to. Donating a $2.00 donation to XXX cancer related organisation, not because I want to necessarily help people with research for cancer, but more for the prize that has been donated for this donation/raffle to continue and get noticed. I ONLY donated to win a Mini Cooper =.=” but in all cases I never actually win anything(seriously think the 7 years of bad luck is still onto me).

And now I only donate when I have money and to those well worth my donation. Beggars on the streets in the city…NO THANKS

From Mercedes Wendz (:P LOL)

I declare “National Hug a Wendy Day”

I declare “National Hug a Wendy Day” Or if you can’t find a Wendy to hug, your mum or dad or just anyone close by could be the alternative. Why this special day? Just coz I feel like it HEEHEE Just coz I’ve been through so much this past month or so, parents not being home, the independence/non independence, coz I’ve been taking care of the other siblings have made me feel like I’ve aged 10+ years in a month. Not good….need a hug. Why hug an alternative? Coz have you ever thought, if they didn’t do certain things, you could develop certain diseases without even knowing it. Certain bacterium such as Salmonella and Shigella develops around kitchen sinks and cause food poisoning. If it weren’t for your parents doing such a good job in cleaning, you would have died ages ago. I’ve been told about these bacteria since a kid, so I know well, what they can and can’t do (but not like my parents are scientists or anything). Yeah they may look like quite the computer desktop image, or some graphic artwork, invert the colours and it could look quite neat. But harsh reality is that these pics are indeed REAL!!! These micro-organisms CAN and WILL grow if you are not careful…So saying so, keep a bottle of White King at hand and actually do some cleaning. I did, I needed to buy a whole new bottle, coz I finished the last. I scrubbed a 70m^2 kitchen floor tiles, from black grouting to white again…so I KNOW WELL!!! Parents being back; not quite lightened the load of housework I do. Seems multiplied more, coz more people to take care of. But somehow I feel more obliged to, than previously to carry out certain activities than the past, coz my mum has come back from her holiday with Bell’s palsy. Seeing her like that, makes me feel bad, that someday she might not be here, and that diseases, pain and death may be just a step away. Hence maybe I’ve always had a fear of death; necrophobia. What is Bell’s palsy? It is the facial drooping of half the face, due the inflammation of a facial nerve, which controls the muscles of the face. It affects approx 1 person in 65 during a lifetime. The cause is unknown. Symptoms include paralysis of one side of the face, not being able to shut the eye completely, numbness, facial spasms, lose of taste, dribbling, Crocodile Tear Syndrome (tears falling uncontrollably). Treatment isn’t necessary, sometimes a steroid maybe prescribed. However most people (60-80%) recover within several weeks, others several months, and others not. I’m just worried if it doesn’t heal, it’s sad seeing her like that. At first when I saw her again, it reminds me of my Cookie Monster with the sideward smirk, and Quasimodo, the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but then it really ain’t good referring my mum to those characters, in that there is a possibility it could be permanent. I miss my mum smiling properly. I missed them so much; I hugged them at every chance possible. Okay I’ll end this blog, coz I’m so tired, didn’t get to sleep till 2am(which took forever, coz of the tile scrubbing, made my arms feel dead, and not belonging to me), then got pranked 4 times at 4am in the morning, and then having to get up at 6am. SO WHOEVER PRANKED ME, SAY SORRY!!! I’M SOOOOO TIRED!!! IRON DEFICIENCY!!! Who so cruel to me??? :”( ~Tired little Wendy again~

Another blogging site I came across

http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/category/bloggishness/

I think it's funny, but I could be wrong, I'm half-asleep and burping oysters, HEHE

I feel happier...I don't know why

I feel happier...I don't know why Does it have anything to do with this thing: YEP froggy is back...and 10x better, NAH just 10x bigger than the one that got lost, would look quite weird if I had this so called "keyring" hanging off my phone, I think I would loose the phone and not the frog in that scenario, actually I think it would be quite weird if it was actually used as an actual keyring considering its size is similar to a grapefruit...now would you be holding the keys or the grapefruit then? I dunno, I was quite upset that I lost the golf-ball sized original frog that lasted a month on my phone, coz it was just soooo cute LOL it was like my little stress ball, I knew it had been falling off my phone a few times before, but I had been able to find it again; a few steps away after realising it's dissappearance. Then I lost it on 19/03 the death of little froggy whilst on an outing in the city, and then realising its dissappearance, tracing back my steps, but weren't fortunate in finding it again.(I hope it's in a better place now) Its as if little froggy has resurrected, and had been well fed :P and now I have a giant stress ball :P but dunno where to hang it, would be strange having such a round soft toy hanging off my keys, my phone or my bag, maybe it'll just stay at home, where its dissappearing act would be reduced to a minimal. I have yet to give it a name, maybe Froggy would suit it well, as I've always referred the old one by that. I was so excited to see it in Duchess though, I mean, although I won't be able to find the little fella again, I now have it's big brother, one day if I do see one the size of a basketball, I am soooo getting it. I couldn't stop giggling once I got it, I had to send MMSes to show my excitement, it was such a happy moment. Do girls suck up to cute things? I guess it's the littlest things that count, and get remembered the most. Hence I like to spoil myself with pointless cute things at times. I had a crazy obsession with them "Big Head Dogs" aka The Artlist Dog collection, which was a hit a while back, in McDonalds Happy Meals and stuff, to this day... I have 39 of them...and counting, 3 of which aren't the small ones, but larger one which I got off eBay. I mean even ones that looked like them, I got. This one I got from a craft store @ Chadstone: Also cookie monsters....I always liked the cookie monster over all the other Sesame Street characters, I mean not that Elmo ain't cute, just Cookie Monster is better :P YUP *nods nods* Just recent conversations of the O-so-famous Cookie Monster sparked my interest in buying pointless toys LOL I remembered when I was in America, my cousin had one that talked, it was sooo memorable. Me, my bro and my sis all loved it and wanted to nick it, but that was back in 2000. And over the past month or so my Cookie Monster collection has increased from two to eight now. Yes crazy obsessions will make me broke one day, I just know it, especially on my very low income, and bank balance of late. And now I shall share my Cookie Monster collection: But I reckon these two are the cutest, coz they don't have their mouths open, I purposely made them hug, with pins(creative aren't I) Sooooo cute lor...if only HEHE That's enough crazy obsessions for me, wait till I rejuvenate my money levels, maybe it will start all over again HEHE oh well, dunno. I went and saw a movie by myself, I reckon I needed a break from all the daily stresses I had been going through. The movie: Wild Hogs about middle-aged men in a motorbike gang and how they go on a road trip to escape their own stressed out lives, going on a road trip and having a hell of a time, and then also getting knackered by a real motorbike gang who beated their arses up, but it was funny, if you enjoy that sorta lame humour, and in need of a good laugh, I recommend it. The movie I was intending to see at first, was The Host, a korean suspense/comedy movie, though only plays at Village Jam Factory and Hoyts Melbourne Central at such bad timing...maybe when that bad timing suits my good timing, I will go see it...until then, I shall go watch other movies. Dunno bout Hot Fuzz, it's MA15+ and apparently very violent, but my uni friend said she was cracking up to it (weird girl LOL), dunno, maybe it shall make me conquer my fear of death, with gruesome images :P RIP little froggy(19/03/07), big bro with a capital F is here!! ~~~~@ WUV WENDY @~~~~ Alas the littlest things that made us smile

I woke up very cranky, I cleaned the kitchen and did the laundry

I woke up very cranky, I cleaned the kitchen and did the laundry I’d been wearing an apron and gloves for more than 12 hours straight, a reason because I fell asleep in it :P I was just THAT tired I just needed a short nap, which obviously didn’t turn out to be a short nap, I did wake up in the middle, going I should really continue what I hadn’t finished off last night, but being iron deficient, I was really tired. So a few more hours after that awakening, I wake up to a pile of uncleaned dishes, lights still on, everything untouched for the past 12 hours, the way I left it. I was thinking to myself, if my sister was home, she would at least turn off the lights and possibly do the dishes for me, NOPE she stayed over at her boyfriends place @_@ playing PS3, the $999 thing Bleh, waste of money, got too tired and slept at his place, and didn’t get back till 9am the next day, coming home in her Coles work uniform, then again running away for an excursion. I hadn’t seen her in two days A) coz I went out Saturday night to a party and didn’t get back till 2am in the morning B) I went to work and she’s still sleeping C) She went to work at night, and then disappeared for the whole night, yes she gets freedom when parents aren’t home, doesn’t she, not me. Seriously when the parents get back, she won’t be acting like this would she. Coz they don’t know yet, though I have hinted. My tolerance levels are low, especially towards my brother, waking up really cranky, I did say words like STFU, bullshit and whatnot towards him…and nothing happens, my swearing takes no effect on him…I am saddened :”( My payback time, I took the switches off the stove, so no Mi Goreng cooking for him. I wonder how long before he starts making a fuss about it, no chance I guess, coz I cooked two ice-cream tubs worth of pasta, that will probably, in end last two days or less =.=” considering his double diet (yes pregnant sized him), but will he even make himself go to the fridge and microwave, that is another question. Pretty much all Sunday, I had been preparing pasta meals, and left a pile of pots, pans and dishes, really I should of done it, seeing I made it myself, but BIG HELLO, I don’t cook for myself now do I? “NUP no sorry, not washing Wendy” ARGH I’m gonna rip my hair out soon enough. So waking up, already in the gear to clean, I made the kitchen sparkle, stove, sink, yep the lot. Really I should taken before and after pics to show the atrocity of the place. But where do I get energy to do that now. I’m too tired to do much, I woke up at 7am so been cleaning since then, and now it’s 10am typing this up. I live on the sense of achievement, to know that my efforts aren’t being recognised, yes have to say it…SHITS ME UP THE WALL (don’t worry the walls are clean). In my future relationship, I refuse to do any of that stuff, he must cook and clean for me, I refuse to eat take-away everyday, or live off 2 minute noodles, it just ain’t healthy. My tiredness, yeah I went to see a doctor about it, got a blood test, really wanted to go see one, seeing I hadn’t seen one in 7 years since I fractured my wrist rollerblading downhill and into a wall (OK I WAS A NEWB!!!) but yeah too long, I remember in hospital I had low blood pressure, if that says anything. And friends been saying I look pale, so yeah went to the Monash Health Centre to get a check-up, despite getting my first blood test (THREE TEST TUBES, MY BLOOD!!!) the doctor (male) said everything, kidney, liver…OK, ‘cept iron and ferattin levels are low(something about storing iron). A healthy person ranges in 20-250, for me, I am healthy, just low low with a 39 reading, so to fix that I need more high-iron foods, actually… just get me some food. LOL I tell my sister every time she goes see her boyfriend to come home with some food for me, but to this day, nothing, my brother gets to it first, so I am malnourished :”( Actually my main concern in seeing the doctor, was that I was complaining about a chest pain since High School, no not breast cancer, didn’t get felt up for nothing, now did I? But he said I shouldn’t be worried much, coz I didn’t say the pain was centred, which is where heart related pains occurs. But to think about it now, it does feel more centralised. It feels like a heart attack, a stabbing pain, which comes with shortness of breath, shaking and makes me cringe and curdle up till the pain goes away, which may last 5+ minutes. So breathing at a fast rate, and heart beating twice at fast, maybe at times with too much exertion of energy or sometimes none. I think it’s angina, but doctor said I shouldn’t be worried much, now should I?...and deprived sleep, says I’ve just got things on my mind that worries me, and to think it over and to really know what’s bothering me. To think about it, if I ever faint or have a heart attack, I would probably have to call 000 in my sub-conscious, coz I have just lost hope in the family caring about me. (Do I look malnourished?) ~Tired little Wendy

I will make toilets sparkle when I’m angry

I will make toilets sparkle when I’m angry Yes it’s true, it’s my form of anger management, a good productive form of my stress and anger management; cleaning compulsively. It is surely a better way than destroying or wasting things or alternatively keeping it all locked up waiting to explode. Problem is that I don’t often get angry/pissed off/stressed out all that often, so therefore the toilet gets a bit neglected sometimes :P But when I am, it’s definitely not only the toilet sparkling, but much of the house, the entire bathroom would sparkle like Cleaning Aid ads, and I would vacuum and possibly mop the house as well, depending on the anger level and how much energy I actually have(which ain’t much), plus the house is huge. So far since my parents have gone overseas for like a month or so, I have been placed with the key of responsibility, so I can’t say its complete independence. And I don’t understand how people say “oh freedom” to my parents going overseas. It is definitely not the case. It would be if I completely didn’t have to care about their matters and their other two children; my brother and sister =.=” Yes, tis them two that pisses me off the most, their lack of initiative, their lack of consideration, and their lack of …. BAH I’ll just say everything. My younger sister not so bad, in that she does understand that I have been placed with the burden of many other roles in the family, but not …complete understanding. She plays little part in the other activities that I have had to take on as well, using VCE as an excuse. I mean I do feel her, that VCE is indeed a tiresome period, but I’ve gone through that too, it needs time management, what really bugs me is that she would use VCE as an excuse to get out of chores, but she OFTEN comes home to sleep, watch TV and fall asleep, weekends-sleep, and when she sleeps…IT’S VERY VERY HARD TO WAKE HER UP AGAIN, and I am serious, trying to get her up for dinner is not an easy task, prod her, poke her, nudge her, slap her if you must, she’ll open her eyes, blink and go back to sleep…maybe not to the slap one, maybe she’ll respond by getting pissed off for a sec, turn to the other side and maybe cry her way back to sleeping, but then when she does wake up again by herself, she’s like “why didn’t you wake me up?” AS IF I DIDN’T!!! LOL as if she’s forgotten everything I’ve done to her in the process of getting her up, funny but also annoying at the same time. The other one, SIGH SIGH SIGH is all that comes out from inside the family, parents as well, we all have little hope in him, at the age of 23, you’d reckon he would be independent and show consideration to people and objects, know that life ain’t easy, and BE NICE!!!! NO He’s not!!! A thing between my sis and I, is that he is only ever nice to “one” of the sisters, which seems to prove true. Most times he was nice to me, as in yeah he might shout me a stupid slushie, meal or something, coz I tend to drive him home from work most times(15 minute walk)…but after I purchased the Nintendo Wii for him, he has began to bond more with my sister, who are both obsessed with video games(well my sis still plays Neopets, if you get me) as for me, I only have a short attention span to video games, definitely not a compulsive side of myself. So a week of Wii playing for me, it doesn’t fancy me, or that I realise that there are many more things in life to look forward to. Back to the idiot of a brother, I really have to try not elaborate too much from previous blogs, 23, yep no licence; doesn’t plan to get it, no girlfriend; doesn’t really care, friends; doubt he has any, still plays Magic cards on a regular basis, spending maybe hundreds/fortunes on these cards, seriously these cards were a hit in 1997 or something, when I was in grade four, but come’on TEN YEARS AGO GET OVER IT!!! It annoys the whole family when he receives another piece of cardboard print in the mail, coz we know it as … yet another Magic card. To this day, he probably has a wardrobe full of them. He has lived behind the garage(the old sewing room) for more than 10 years now, coz he wanted to, excluding himself from the family(maybe, dunno), but doesn’t contribute to the family, only enters the house for meals, meals and maybe a piss and shower. Meals ARGH don’t get me started, first words I ever hear come from him are “what’s for dinner tonight” or “when’s mum coming home” (coz mum often cooks, but I have been of late)…when I’m not home, coz I’ve gone out, he’s too lazy to even walk to the microwave for god’s sake( =.=” x1000000000000……) Tell him to go put his clothes to his room…nothing happens, his clothes live in the kitchen, it’s as if his wardrobe/living quarters is in the kitchen, coz it’s where he plays the Wii, watch TV etc etc, despite him already having a TV in his room. He lounges everywhere, and his sight in the house ain’t pleasant. On hot days, might see him half nude, and he is very, very bulgy, close to pregnancy and ready to give birth. Doesn’t participate in the chores AT ALL, demands a lot, has a job but doesn’t intend on paying his HECS back, doesn’t give boarding fees to my mum for his living (I would when I turn 21, law states legally parents have to take care of their children to the age of 21, so maybe I’ll move out before then). This week I tried seeing how long before one of them realise that the rubbish bin in the kitchen is overflowing and foul and would take initiative to take the trash out(simple test eh?) …WELL the answer, TOO LONG!!! None of them took the initiative, and just added and added, till I couldn’t even tie it, and so I had to take it out, HUFFLE PUFF, BAAA HUMBUG!!! SHYZEN-HYZEN (these words are my alternatives to swearing, i.e. SHIT, FUCK and whatever, coz I hear it too often towards me… I hate hearing these words) Cooking, simple, if you don’t like my cooking, don’t eat it, don’t eat and complain, just because it doesn’t tickle your distinct fatty tastebuds. Seriously I haven’t even been eating much, why do I even have to cook, coz I would just skip it, but NO the demands of eating is soooo high, I must. If I didn’t cook, maybe he’ll go make himself some Mi Goreng or eat a meat-pie…but never occurs to him that there are people who actually go out and buy these things (ME ME ME ME ME, designated shopper atm) Laundry, hehe yeah I might not be too good with this field, but I still know how to do it, just a warning: DO NOT MIX CLOTHES WITH A HIGH TENDENCY TO DYE OTHERS TOGETHER, =.=” to myself this time, I made some clothes purple, but I’m not fussed, coz most of it was my clothes anyway, but still absolute pain in the arse, having to do others, who aren’t even wary that they actually have clean clothes to wear. Ontop of the, may I say chores of life, I have had the financial matters and incoming mail. Yeah it might sound like nothing, opening mail, okay bill left hand side, statement right hand side, junk mail recycling. But our house gets a pile 1cm high everyday of this nightmare. Why? Coz my parents own many properties, and manages also many of our uncles, total um more than a handful. NOTE: I’m not rich, all are mortgaged properties that require payment every month, I don’t know how many we actually own outright, maybe the one we live in, but not sure. Okay I can be considered rich for a 19 year old, considering I have more than 10 grand in my mum’s account, good saving plan, that is the key to a good retirement, hehe :P But don’t rob me, just coz I said that. Plus other things, that have bothered me of recent have caused me to blow and result in excessive cleaning. I don’t remember how this funny sort of anger/stress relief disorder had occurred, but I remembered this movie starring Sammi Cheng in that she would clean toilets when she was in a confused mood (not sure if it was confused, but something along those lines) sometimes she would get to a point that she just needed to clean a toilet, even if it were public ones. It was a funny movie I remembered…I really need to go see a movie soon, before I start cleaning uni toilets :P To this day and age, I still don’t have much confidence in guys in that they will treat me right, maybe on the factors that the guys in my life have been a complete arsehole to me, or haven’t existed much, yeah dad hasn’t been around much, a weekend once a fortnight for the past 10+ years, too difficult, guess he’s never had a father figure, to know how to be a father figure in his own time. Hence feeling frigidity (not the SAD-sexual arousal disorder, but the extreme lack of warmth). I mean I look at my sister and his boyfriend (nah haven’t seen him, or really know bout him) and think, if only someone that persistent in courting and keeping their other half happy (it’s a thought just a thought LIFE FOR RENT-DIDO) happened to me, okay been watching too much Korean drama, but come’ on, all girls want something like that to happen. But when it does, I don’t know how to respond. Love is supposed to compliment life, not destroy it, if it is, is it time to end the relationship, even though it may not have even started?...I dunno…… Told you my blogs were longer than essays

Are you excessive compulsive?

Are you excessive compulsive?

First of all, much apologies, I have been neglecting my blogging self lately ever since that incident that shoved blogging Wendy into the darkest corner of her massive wardrobe. But she’s back, better, re-energised and probably more informative and less spastic fantastic (I mean the spastic bit really…but I can still be fantastic though).

So are you excessive compulsive? Do you buy what you don’t need? Can you separate your wants and needs in a logical way? What is spending too much? And why are you doing what you are doing? … The answer to these questions lies within yourself…YOU are the one to control your excessive compulsiveness, and it is YOU that shall stop that excessive compulsiveness.

What has suddenly hit me into such a topic discussion, well let’s say my excessive compulsiveness, and the fact that I need to discuss it, to know what I’m talking about…yes lads, this is the topic of “economics” how and why it exist, the topic of scarcity, capital (money) and resources. What we do and what we don’t have, and how to use it all wisely.

Okay it might sound like a whole pile of bullshit if you have no idea what it is, but that is exactly what economics is to me, and hence maybe I stepped in bullshit last year, stepped out of it and continued walking without noticing me smelling like shit…well this year, in repeating the subject, I shall try and clean that bullshit off my shoe this time and thoroughly going through it, picking at all the nits and picks of it. LMAO that sounds so wrong, but so true. It is what I need to do, to pass the subject with flying colours…GET SHITTY WITH IT : P

Okay I’m trying to make this topic as interesting as possible, as must I, to make this shitty subject as enjoyable as possible in the years to come.

Economics…what are the words that come to mind when I think about that word…besides the words shit and failure. I need to look beyond those two words and really think of its true meaning. As I close my eyes, all I can picture is the stock page of the newspaper…actually bad example. Okay shopping, everyone does it, everyone “needs” it and everyone “wants” it. Separating the words needs and wants may not be an easy task, and hence may lead to excessive compulsiveness.

How often do you look at something in a shop, like it heaps and MUST get it? How often do you get prompted by a sales promotion like 50%...or a sales advert on TV…let’s say New Nintendo Wii, or Playstation 3? How often do you see something that so and so might like and pre-purchase it for their birthday and then end up forgetting about it? Or buy stuff for no apparent reason, just because a sudden urge at that moment prompted you to open your wallet to withdraw X amount of cash, or ATM card and to push those digits for the store to gain X amount from your account? And how often have you said NO to something once you have grabbed everything you “wanted” and made your way to the cash register?

Let’s say many times except for the last one, yes I AM generalising, yes I AM allowed to, coz our modern society has made our generation such people, also a marketing perspective(another shit I need to clean up and reflect on, and understand that many business subjects are interrelated) has moulded our generation into such spending habits. Everywhere we go, we are surrounded with signs and banners telling us to SPEND SPEND SPEND. Hence many people ending up applying for loans, or ending up bankrupt. It is because WE as human beings are tempted by the physical materials, technology and time has given us. YES WE ALL ARE MATERIALISTIC…well ya gotta be if you’re reading this already. If you’re not, please take the clothes off your back and go live with the animals in Africa.

Needs are… yes, the clothes on your back, food, and shelter, that is all, basic survival needs, a person in all parts of the world would be able to share these common characteristics with you, a baby will, a grown adult will and the elderly will, as do pets (maybe not the clothes bit) but definitely, all living species on the planet share the same basic needs, they are the simple things that keep us going. Then comes the wants, the urges, the extra goodness life can bring. You don’t have to have a 3 course meal, it is normally wanted, you don’t have to eat a certain cereal brand, what’s wrong with the cheapest home brand one, you don’t need expensive designer clothes (Target ones do just fine, HA I’m advertising here). All these extra things are wants…they are the DEVIL (Waterboy extract).

The choice of choosing that “want” for something else is called the trade-off, choosing one thing for another, or choosing it instead of retaining the money to be spent more worthwhile. This is why people in a rich economy complain about being poor…because they have made the decision to spend. You may not know it, but if you are on a computer reading this, YOU are in a RICH economy. Therefore quit complaining.

Life is full of trade-offs, so choose wisely, and I shall leave y’all on this note to dwell on till my next informative post, it might be another shitty post, but it’s all the same, Wendy can get shitty sometimes. AND yes I AM excessive compulsive too.

Cheers

Wendy

This is part II of my extreme sadness of late...I hate seeing myself not happy

OKAY I need to explain what sparked this outrage. I only posted the post dated 30 December about who to spend NYE with...and I chose the guys because they got back to me first...and after that, I haven't been talking to her since… then on myspace I was talking to a person and mentioned this:

My holidays...too much alcamahol, too many new friends, and too much jealousy from old ones. But fun, work and what not, it's all cool with me, I'm not fussed...how has ur been?
and...
yes drinking is bad...but what isn't, even breathing is bad, too much pollution anyways...so I don't care anymore...and jealousy...well the aussie girls, coz I've been hanging round with my asian mates, yeah he is kinda of a loser, that's what dole bludgers are, NAH he's not that bad, losers don't get girlfriends, he's got one...I'm a loser HEHE

That's the only two comments I replied to this "other" and she obviously checked it out and posted that nasty blog for the whole world wide web to see...in what sorta person I am.

My direct response to her blog was:
DO you know how that makes me feel?....do you know how many times I have said sorry in this last few months?...do you know how I feel being stuck between two or three or four friendship groups?...do you know how many times I have cried because of this?...do you know how it makes me feel when you say I pretend to be someone I am not?...do you know how it feels to be called a traitor?...Last time I cried was a year ago, when I witnessed my first failure, failing my drivers test(P-plates) and any other failure didn't affect my emotional status one bit, failing uni subjects didn't even touched me, I thought I needed therapy for that, plus uni is more expensive, I should be worried and upset for that, but I wasn't...and now I think this is another HUGE FAILURE...my sister says my friendship has never experienced any flaws, and she is jealous of me, I hope this is one of those and it will pass

Yes I am afraid...yes I am scared of loosing friends... but I am only one person... yes I am sorry... yes I am aussie girl.... yes I am different(but who isn't?).... yes I am making new friends.... and yes I feel like a stupid, obnoxious BITCH at the moment.

No I am not throwing friendship away... no I am not a traitor....AND no I don't want it to end this way... no never

And she even posted a bulletin in myspace titled :
Somebody should know about this
you know who you are....
read my blog...

I mean now, all her myspace friends now perceived me as pure evil....our ex-classmates from highschool who own a myspace has perceived me as pure evil, and whoever else on her list has perceived me as pure evil....I am not her no.1 myspace friend no more, neither am I in many other top friends list.

Well this is the direct response I got after I replied to her blog, and has put me in a down mood ever since Saturday afternoon when she posted it...I thank all that has cared for me, I feel I should tell it as it is, so there is no guessing or whatever, and besides these I haven't talked to her since Christmas Eve.

But you do need to understand the way you are talking about this............

okay i made new friends with Allison and Kate........ (She goes to TAFE, she sees these people everyday, and talks about them all the time, uni doesn’t allow that sorta connection, that bond, that closeness.)

but you have met them.....get me??....... (I haven’t met Allison before, and Kate, only twice in the entire year…and she’s always Kate and Allison this, Allison and Kate that, she talks about these two as if they were our replacements(the ones who went to uni instead of TAFE)…has it ever occurred to her how does that make us feel?...pfft)

i didn't just run with them...remember Alice? (Who hung around coz she had nothing better, and lost contact at the end of schoolies…induced by alcohol, smoking and friends into that stuff)

i find it hard that...out of all these years these new people come along and your SO OPEN....they went to your house.......and stayed there and stuff......I've never even been invited to your house before......(.she was the first friend to come to my house, she was the one closest to my house, yes I had never had a party before or sleepover, because of our differences, our different cultures, it was the first time I actually had friends over at my place, but she chose to leave, I was simply being a kind host and giving those intoxicated with a place to stay, she prefers her own bed, her own house all the time, she made that decision.)

how the hell do u think taht makes me feel.....

and then ur saying to other people that i'm like a jealous aussie girl.......jealous of what??...i've never met your friends.....i don't care do what you want...( she has…I’ve never talked about my uni friends because I don’t really have any that are close, we see at uni and that’s it, they live too far away to have close contact, though whenever I do talk about them, it’s not the same, coz nobody knows who they are, so I don’t bother…and why I talk about these guys, because they ACTUALLY do know them.)

but don't be RUDEEE don't ignore me!!!....don't talk shit about me!!!!...........( I don’t know how to respond to the message because I am still very SCARED)

it's hard for me to explain....that 'jealous' is the wrong word.......no i don't want u to split between groups........thats simply not what i am talking about...just that ..........look i can't explain and you obviously have no idea what i am talking about but yes i am a dramatic person and no i don't want to hurt you like that, but can't u see.....how incredibley hurtful it is ....just cutting us off for stupid reasons........( she doesn’t know it HAS hurt me, she has continued her myspace experience posting funny images on other peoples and has ignored me.)

look i just give up

and don't talk about this sort of stuff to ur other 'friends' coz it's our stufff don't post ne rude bulletins sayin oh i can't pick..oh help me...coz again rude.....i don't want to be talked about like ...oh my old friends such drags they knew nothing about Chinese pop culture......infact which i am completely in love with and i think is awsum but oh that right you never bothered to ask...(.and now I have done wrong.)

But in posting this I have acknowledged what she has said...but I feel this is the best way of letting people understand the whole situation, keeping it all locked up make me think too much...I perceive friendship both old and new as friends, old as in people I've known for a long time, and new for those that I have just recently gotten well accustomed to. I'm not cutting people off, I try to be fair to all, and just hang out with the people I feel most comfortable with...I feel like I've lost a connection with them, and I seriously don't know whether she is talking on behalf of the whole group...and I AM VERY AFRAID that is the case, I AM AFRAID of asking, and I AM AFRAID of loosing it...if it is true.

I'm generally a happy person, and I hate seeing myself unhappy, people around me notice and aren't accustomed to my sadness at ALL. A friendship that has lasted 12 years is not something easy to loose and forget, but if the bond was that good, they would UNDERSTAND ME...which I feel she doesn't...or I have seriously CHANGED A HELL LOT SINCE THEN. I mean I change for good, for better, my anti-socialness I don't want anymore, and just wished for more friends, how can that be wrong...now isn't that jealousy then?...I don't know...but it's not like she doesn't know them, SHE DOES, she's met them, and went to school with them. And being OPEN?? Isn't that just what I'm trying to change about myself, I've never really had any guy friends at all, because they haven't really existed in my life....and asian friends for that matter, and hence my IDENTITY CRISIS of late.

It's not like this hasn't happened to me before, being kicked out from a friendship ring, being ignored and forgotten, but that was in Grade Two when I was a naive little kid, and also did nothing wrong...this somewhat feels like that time again, primary school...I hate you I don't want you in my group anymore....that's what it feels like, REJECTION. It is they who accepted me from then on, from where I use to play by myself on the monkey bars etc etc. to actually having long term friends…what happened?

And since then, I haven’t been acting my normal self…purposely avoiding the internet, avoiding conversation, avoiding people I know…yes I have logged on, but appearing offline, and scared to share a word…I come home from work, I turn on my computer as I normally do, sit infront of it and stared at it…something my sister noticed straight away after I read that message…me sitting infront of the computer and not touching it, is not normal in my sense…and besides that, I’ve been coming home and sleeping till dinner.

Those who see me online everyday gets a bit worried too…THANK YOU. It has taken me four days to have courage to log back on, but I still have no courage to talk to HER. I have been unintentionally hurting myself, I am not suicidal, I shall never be, I know people still care about me hence I will never purposely do anything to hurt myself. Though I have wanted to run that “piece of shit of a car” into a brick wall NYE when I had to make that decision….but that’s okay the car happens to be down this time, at the right moment, not for me to do that. I have been walking into doors, tripping over, getting cuts, hitting my head on things, in and out of work, all unintentionally, coz by the sounds of things, those people belong in mental asylums.

I have started going out on night walks by myself alone, just around the area, which sometimes is scary in my area because there are many more weird people than I e.g. man running with pants round ankles(so I didn’t go that way), and a pee stalker who pees in peoples gardens, and runs to another garden and continues his unfinished business…but I only started this habit yesterday night, I actually wanted to go bike-riding, but I couldn’t find my helmet, so I walked just to random places for a whole hour, I wanted to go to the park, but there were people there, so I tried to go to another park, but it was TOO close to where SHE lived and yet again there were people there…so instead I did a giant circle and went to my High School, which is about 10 minute walk from my place, and walked around the whole school, and observing the changes, the differences, and the memories that happened there…our favourite spots included the doorway entrance and around the toilets, and I sat there for a long while…thinking. And then about 10 o’clock I decided to walk back home, I was wearing completely black, so it might have been really weird, but I just wanted to go outside and breathe, coz I couldn’t really whilst eating dinner, and just wanted some fresh air.

Lately if I’m not occupied with work…I’ve been thinking too much…and as my sister would say…”you’ve got too much time on your hands”…but she normally says that when I’m doing something totally irrelevant, or bored. But I’m OKAY and please don’t take any blame in occupying my time…you were only being supportive.

Sorry and many thanks
Wendy