I feel happier...I don't know why

I feel happier...I don't know why Does it have anything to do with this thing: YEP froggy is back...and 10x better, NAH just 10x bigger than the one that got lost, would look quite weird if I had this so called "keyring" hanging off my phone, I think I would loose the phone and not the frog in that scenario, actually I think it would be quite weird if it was actually used as an actual keyring considering its size is similar to a grapefruit...now would you be holding the keys or the grapefruit then? I dunno, I was quite upset that I lost the golf-ball sized original frog that lasted a month on my phone, coz it was just soooo cute LOL it was like my little stress ball, I knew it had been falling off my phone a few times before, but I had been able to find it again; a few steps away after realising it's dissappearance. Then I lost it on 19/03 the death of little froggy whilst on an outing in the city, and then realising its dissappearance, tracing back my steps, but weren't fortunate in finding it again.(I hope it's in a better place now) Its as if little froggy has resurrected, and had been well fed :P and now I have a giant stress ball :P but dunno where to hang it, would be strange having such a round soft toy hanging off my keys, my phone or my bag, maybe it'll just stay at home, where its dissappearing act would be reduced to a minimal. I have yet to give it a name, maybe Froggy would suit it well, as I've always referred the old one by that. I was so excited to see it in Duchess though, I mean, although I won't be able to find the little fella again, I now have it's big brother, one day if I do see one the size of a basketball, I am soooo getting it. I couldn't stop giggling once I got it, I had to send MMSes to show my excitement, it was such a happy moment. Do girls suck up to cute things? I guess it's the littlest things that count, and get remembered the most. Hence I like to spoil myself with pointless cute things at times. I had a crazy obsession with them "Big Head Dogs" aka The Artlist Dog collection, which was a hit a while back, in McDonalds Happy Meals and stuff, to this day... I have 39 of them...and counting, 3 of which aren't the small ones, but larger one which I got off eBay. I mean even ones that looked like them, I got. This one I got from a craft store @ Chadstone: Also cookie monsters....I always liked the cookie monster over all the other Sesame Street characters, I mean not that Elmo ain't cute, just Cookie Monster is better :P YUP *nods nods* Just recent conversations of the O-so-famous Cookie Monster sparked my interest in buying pointless toys LOL I remembered when I was in America, my cousin had one that talked, it was sooo memorable. Me, my bro and my sis all loved it and wanted to nick it, but that was back in 2000. And over the past month or so my Cookie Monster collection has increased from two to eight now. Yes crazy obsessions will make me broke one day, I just know it, especially on my very low income, and bank balance of late. And now I shall share my Cookie Monster collection: But I reckon these two are the cutest, coz they don't have their mouths open, I purposely made them hug, with pins(creative aren't I) Sooooo cute lor...if only HEHE That's enough crazy obsessions for me, wait till I rejuvenate my money levels, maybe it will start all over again HEHE oh well, dunno. I went and saw a movie by myself, I reckon I needed a break from all the daily stresses I had been going through. The movie: Wild Hogs about middle-aged men in a motorbike gang and how they go on a road trip to escape their own stressed out lives, going on a road trip and having a hell of a time, and then also getting knackered by a real motorbike gang who beated their arses up, but it was funny, if you enjoy that sorta lame humour, and in need of a good laugh, I recommend it. The movie I was intending to see at first, was The Host, a korean suspense/comedy movie, though only plays at Village Jam Factory and Hoyts Melbourne Central at such bad timing...maybe when that bad timing suits my good timing, I will go see it...until then, I shall go watch other movies. Dunno bout Hot Fuzz, it's MA15+ and apparently very violent, but my uni friend said she was cracking up to it (weird girl LOL), dunno, maybe it shall make me conquer my fear of death, with gruesome images :P RIP little froggy(19/03/07), big bro with a capital F is here!! ~~~~@ WUV WENDY @~~~~ Alas the littlest things that made us smile

I woke up very cranky, I cleaned the kitchen and did the laundry

I woke up very cranky, I cleaned the kitchen and did the laundry I’d been wearing an apron and gloves for more than 12 hours straight, a reason because I fell asleep in it :P I was just THAT tired I just needed a short nap, which obviously didn’t turn out to be a short nap, I did wake up in the middle, going I should really continue what I hadn’t finished off last night, but being iron deficient, I was really tired. So a few more hours after that awakening, I wake up to a pile of uncleaned dishes, lights still on, everything untouched for the past 12 hours, the way I left it. I was thinking to myself, if my sister was home, she would at least turn off the lights and possibly do the dishes for me, NOPE she stayed over at her boyfriends place @_@ playing PS3, the $999 thing Bleh, waste of money, got too tired and slept at his place, and didn’t get back till 9am the next day, coming home in her Coles work uniform, then again running away for an excursion. I hadn’t seen her in two days A) coz I went out Saturday night to a party and didn’t get back till 2am in the morning B) I went to work and she’s still sleeping C) She went to work at night, and then disappeared for the whole night, yes she gets freedom when parents aren’t home, doesn’t she, not me. Seriously when the parents get back, she won’t be acting like this would she. Coz they don’t know yet, though I have hinted. My tolerance levels are low, especially towards my brother, waking up really cranky, I did say words like STFU, bullshit and whatnot towards him…and nothing happens, my swearing takes no effect on him…I am saddened :”( My payback time, I took the switches off the stove, so no Mi Goreng cooking for him. I wonder how long before he starts making a fuss about it, no chance I guess, coz I cooked two ice-cream tubs worth of pasta, that will probably, in end last two days or less =.=” considering his double diet (yes pregnant sized him), but will he even make himself go to the fridge and microwave, that is another question. Pretty much all Sunday, I had been preparing pasta meals, and left a pile of pots, pans and dishes, really I should of done it, seeing I made it myself, but BIG HELLO, I don’t cook for myself now do I? “NUP no sorry, not washing Wendy” ARGH I’m gonna rip my hair out soon enough. So waking up, already in the gear to clean, I made the kitchen sparkle, stove, sink, yep the lot. Really I should taken before and after pics to show the atrocity of the place. But where do I get energy to do that now. I’m too tired to do much, I woke up at 7am so been cleaning since then, and now it’s 10am typing this up. I live on the sense of achievement, to know that my efforts aren’t being recognised, yes have to say it…SHITS ME UP THE WALL (don’t worry the walls are clean). In my future relationship, I refuse to do any of that stuff, he must cook and clean for me, I refuse to eat take-away everyday, or live off 2 minute noodles, it just ain’t healthy. My tiredness, yeah I went to see a doctor about it, got a blood test, really wanted to go see one, seeing I hadn’t seen one in 7 years since I fractured my wrist rollerblading downhill and into a wall (OK I WAS A NEWB!!!) but yeah too long, I remember in hospital I had low blood pressure, if that says anything. And friends been saying I look pale, so yeah went to the Monash Health Centre to get a check-up, despite getting my first blood test (THREE TEST TUBES, MY BLOOD!!!) the doctor (male) said everything, kidney, liver…OK, ‘cept iron and ferattin levels are low(something about storing iron). A healthy person ranges in 20-250, for me, I am healthy, just low low with a 39 reading, so to fix that I need more high-iron foods, actually… just get me some food. LOL I tell my sister every time she goes see her boyfriend to come home with some food for me, but to this day, nothing, my brother gets to it first, so I am malnourished :”( Actually my main concern in seeing the doctor, was that I was complaining about a chest pain since High School, no not breast cancer, didn’t get felt up for nothing, now did I? But he said I shouldn’t be worried much, coz I didn’t say the pain was centred, which is where heart related pains occurs. But to think about it now, it does feel more centralised. It feels like a heart attack, a stabbing pain, which comes with shortness of breath, shaking and makes me cringe and curdle up till the pain goes away, which may last 5+ minutes. So breathing at a fast rate, and heart beating twice at fast, maybe at times with too much exertion of energy or sometimes none. I think it’s angina, but doctor said I shouldn’t be worried much, now should I?...and deprived sleep, says I’ve just got things on my mind that worries me, and to think it over and to really know what’s bothering me. To think about it, if I ever faint or have a heart attack, I would probably have to call 000 in my sub-conscious, coz I have just lost hope in the family caring about me. (Do I look malnourished?) ~Tired little Wendy

I will make toilets sparkle when I’m angry

I will make toilets sparkle when I’m angry Yes it’s true, it’s my form of anger management, a good productive form of my stress and anger management; cleaning compulsively. It is surely a better way than destroying or wasting things or alternatively keeping it all locked up waiting to explode. Problem is that I don’t often get angry/pissed off/stressed out all that often, so therefore the toilet gets a bit neglected sometimes :P But when I am, it’s definitely not only the toilet sparkling, but much of the house, the entire bathroom would sparkle like Cleaning Aid ads, and I would vacuum and possibly mop the house as well, depending on the anger level and how much energy I actually have(which ain’t much), plus the house is huge. So far since my parents have gone overseas for like a month or so, I have been placed with the key of responsibility, so I can’t say its complete independence. And I don’t understand how people say “oh freedom” to my parents going overseas. It is definitely not the case. It would be if I completely didn’t have to care about their matters and their other two children; my brother and sister =.=” Yes, tis them two that pisses me off the most, their lack of initiative, their lack of consideration, and their lack of …. BAH I’ll just say everything. My younger sister not so bad, in that she does understand that I have been placed with the burden of many other roles in the family, but not …complete understanding. She plays little part in the other activities that I have had to take on as well, using VCE as an excuse. I mean I do feel her, that VCE is indeed a tiresome period, but I’ve gone through that too, it needs time management, what really bugs me is that she would use VCE as an excuse to get out of chores, but she OFTEN comes home to sleep, watch TV and fall asleep, weekends-sleep, and when she sleeps…IT’S VERY VERY HARD TO WAKE HER UP AGAIN, and I am serious, trying to get her up for dinner is not an easy task, prod her, poke her, nudge her, slap her if you must, she’ll open her eyes, blink and go back to sleep…maybe not to the slap one, maybe she’ll respond by getting pissed off for a sec, turn to the other side and maybe cry her way back to sleeping, but then when she does wake up again by herself, she’s like “why didn’t you wake me up?” AS IF I DIDN’T!!! LOL as if she’s forgotten everything I’ve done to her in the process of getting her up, funny but also annoying at the same time. The other one, SIGH SIGH SIGH is all that comes out from inside the family, parents as well, we all have little hope in him, at the age of 23, you’d reckon he would be independent and show consideration to people and objects, know that life ain’t easy, and BE NICE!!!! NO He’s not!!! A thing between my sis and I, is that he is only ever nice to “one” of the sisters, which seems to prove true. Most times he was nice to me, as in yeah he might shout me a stupid slushie, meal or something, coz I tend to drive him home from work most times(15 minute walk)…but after I purchased the Nintendo Wii for him, he has began to bond more with my sister, who are both obsessed with video games(well my sis still plays Neopets, if you get me) as for me, I only have a short attention span to video games, definitely not a compulsive side of myself. So a week of Wii playing for me, it doesn’t fancy me, or that I realise that there are many more things in life to look forward to. Back to the idiot of a brother, I really have to try not elaborate too much from previous blogs, 23, yep no licence; doesn’t plan to get it, no girlfriend; doesn’t really care, friends; doubt he has any, still plays Magic cards on a regular basis, spending maybe hundreds/fortunes on these cards, seriously these cards were a hit in 1997 or something, when I was in grade four, but come’on TEN YEARS AGO GET OVER IT!!! It annoys the whole family when he receives another piece of cardboard print in the mail, coz we know it as … yet another Magic card. To this day, he probably has a wardrobe full of them. He has lived behind the garage(the old sewing room) for more than 10 years now, coz he wanted to, excluding himself from the family(maybe, dunno), but doesn’t contribute to the family, only enters the house for meals, meals and maybe a piss and shower. Meals ARGH don’t get me started, first words I ever hear come from him are “what’s for dinner tonight” or “when’s mum coming home” (coz mum often cooks, but I have been of late)…when I’m not home, coz I’ve gone out, he’s too lazy to even walk to the microwave for god’s sake( =.=” x1000000000000……) Tell him to go put his clothes to his room…nothing happens, his clothes live in the kitchen, it’s as if his wardrobe/living quarters is in the kitchen, coz it’s where he plays the Wii, watch TV etc etc, despite him already having a TV in his room. He lounges everywhere, and his sight in the house ain’t pleasant. On hot days, might see him half nude, and he is very, very bulgy, close to pregnancy and ready to give birth. Doesn’t participate in the chores AT ALL, demands a lot, has a job but doesn’t intend on paying his HECS back, doesn’t give boarding fees to my mum for his living (I would when I turn 21, law states legally parents have to take care of their children to the age of 21, so maybe I’ll move out before then). This week I tried seeing how long before one of them realise that the rubbish bin in the kitchen is overflowing and foul and would take initiative to take the trash out(simple test eh?) …WELL the answer, TOO LONG!!! None of them took the initiative, and just added and added, till I couldn’t even tie it, and so I had to take it out, HUFFLE PUFF, BAAA HUMBUG!!! SHYZEN-HYZEN (these words are my alternatives to swearing, i.e. SHIT, FUCK and whatever, coz I hear it too often towards me… I hate hearing these words) Cooking, simple, if you don’t like my cooking, don’t eat it, don’t eat and complain, just because it doesn’t tickle your distinct fatty tastebuds. Seriously I haven’t even been eating much, why do I even have to cook, coz I would just skip it, but NO the demands of eating is soooo high, I must. If I didn’t cook, maybe he’ll go make himself some Mi Goreng or eat a meat-pie…but never occurs to him that there are people who actually go out and buy these things (ME ME ME ME ME, designated shopper atm) Laundry, hehe yeah I might not be too good with this field, but I still know how to do it, just a warning: DO NOT MIX CLOTHES WITH A HIGH TENDENCY TO DYE OTHERS TOGETHER, =.=” to myself this time, I made some clothes purple, but I’m not fussed, coz most of it was my clothes anyway, but still absolute pain in the arse, having to do others, who aren’t even wary that they actually have clean clothes to wear. Ontop of the, may I say chores of life, I have had the financial matters and incoming mail. Yeah it might sound like nothing, opening mail, okay bill left hand side, statement right hand side, junk mail recycling. But our house gets a pile 1cm high everyday of this nightmare. Why? Coz my parents own many properties, and manages also many of our uncles, total um more than a handful. NOTE: I’m not rich, all are mortgaged properties that require payment every month, I don’t know how many we actually own outright, maybe the one we live in, but not sure. Okay I can be considered rich for a 19 year old, considering I have more than 10 grand in my mum’s account, good saving plan, that is the key to a good retirement, hehe :P But don’t rob me, just coz I said that. Plus other things, that have bothered me of recent have caused me to blow and result in excessive cleaning. I don’t remember how this funny sort of anger/stress relief disorder had occurred, but I remembered this movie starring Sammi Cheng in that she would clean toilets when she was in a confused mood (not sure if it was confused, but something along those lines) sometimes she would get to a point that she just needed to clean a toilet, even if it were public ones. It was a funny movie I remembered…I really need to go see a movie soon, before I start cleaning uni toilets :P To this day and age, I still don’t have much confidence in guys in that they will treat me right, maybe on the factors that the guys in my life have been a complete arsehole to me, or haven’t existed much, yeah dad hasn’t been around much, a weekend once a fortnight for the past 10+ years, too difficult, guess he’s never had a father figure, to know how to be a father figure in his own time. Hence feeling frigidity (not the SAD-sexual arousal disorder, but the extreme lack of warmth). I mean I look at my sister and his boyfriend (nah haven’t seen him, or really know bout him) and think, if only someone that persistent in courting and keeping their other half happy (it’s a thought just a thought LIFE FOR RENT-DIDO) happened to me, okay been watching too much Korean drama, but come’ on, all girls want something like that to happen. But when it does, I don’t know how to respond. Love is supposed to compliment life, not destroy it, if it is, is it time to end the relationship, even though it may not have even started?...I dunno…… Told you my blogs were longer than essays

Are you excessive compulsive?

Are you excessive compulsive?

First of all, much apologies, I have been neglecting my blogging self lately ever since that incident that shoved blogging Wendy into the darkest corner of her massive wardrobe. But she’s back, better, re-energised and probably more informative and less spastic fantastic (I mean the spastic bit really…but I can still be fantastic though).

So are you excessive compulsive? Do you buy what you don’t need? Can you separate your wants and needs in a logical way? What is spending too much? And why are you doing what you are doing? … The answer to these questions lies within yourself…YOU are the one to control your excessive compulsiveness, and it is YOU that shall stop that excessive compulsiveness.

What has suddenly hit me into such a topic discussion, well let’s say my excessive compulsiveness, and the fact that I need to discuss it, to know what I’m talking about…yes lads, this is the topic of “economics” how and why it exist, the topic of scarcity, capital (money) and resources. What we do and what we don’t have, and how to use it all wisely.

Okay it might sound like a whole pile of bullshit if you have no idea what it is, but that is exactly what economics is to me, and hence maybe I stepped in bullshit last year, stepped out of it and continued walking without noticing me smelling like shit…well this year, in repeating the subject, I shall try and clean that bullshit off my shoe this time and thoroughly going through it, picking at all the nits and picks of it. LMAO that sounds so wrong, but so true. It is what I need to do, to pass the subject with flying colours…GET SHITTY WITH IT : P

Okay I’m trying to make this topic as interesting as possible, as must I, to make this shitty subject as enjoyable as possible in the years to come.

Economics…what are the words that come to mind when I think about that word…besides the words shit and failure. I need to look beyond those two words and really think of its true meaning. As I close my eyes, all I can picture is the stock page of the newspaper…actually bad example. Okay shopping, everyone does it, everyone “needs” it and everyone “wants” it. Separating the words needs and wants may not be an easy task, and hence may lead to excessive compulsiveness.

How often do you look at something in a shop, like it heaps and MUST get it? How often do you get prompted by a sales promotion like 50%...or a sales advert on TV…let’s say New Nintendo Wii, or Playstation 3? How often do you see something that so and so might like and pre-purchase it for their birthday and then end up forgetting about it? Or buy stuff for no apparent reason, just because a sudden urge at that moment prompted you to open your wallet to withdraw X amount of cash, or ATM card and to push those digits for the store to gain X amount from your account? And how often have you said NO to something once you have grabbed everything you “wanted” and made your way to the cash register?

Let’s say many times except for the last one, yes I AM generalising, yes I AM allowed to, coz our modern society has made our generation such people, also a marketing perspective(another shit I need to clean up and reflect on, and understand that many business subjects are interrelated) has moulded our generation into such spending habits. Everywhere we go, we are surrounded with signs and banners telling us to SPEND SPEND SPEND. Hence many people ending up applying for loans, or ending up bankrupt. It is because WE as human beings are tempted by the physical materials, technology and time has given us. YES WE ALL ARE MATERIALISTIC…well ya gotta be if you’re reading this already. If you’re not, please take the clothes off your back and go live with the animals in Africa.

Needs are… yes, the clothes on your back, food, and shelter, that is all, basic survival needs, a person in all parts of the world would be able to share these common characteristics with you, a baby will, a grown adult will and the elderly will, as do pets (maybe not the clothes bit) but definitely, all living species on the planet share the same basic needs, they are the simple things that keep us going. Then comes the wants, the urges, the extra goodness life can bring. You don’t have to have a 3 course meal, it is normally wanted, you don’t have to eat a certain cereal brand, what’s wrong with the cheapest home brand one, you don’t need expensive designer clothes (Target ones do just fine, HA I’m advertising here). All these extra things are wants…they are the DEVIL (Waterboy extract).

The choice of choosing that “want” for something else is called the trade-off, choosing one thing for another, or choosing it instead of retaining the money to be spent more worthwhile. This is why people in a rich economy complain about being poor…because they have made the decision to spend. You may not know it, but if you are on a computer reading this, YOU are in a RICH economy. Therefore quit complaining.

Life is full of trade-offs, so choose wisely, and I shall leave y’all on this note to dwell on till my next informative post, it might be another shitty post, but it’s all the same, Wendy can get shitty sometimes. AND yes I AM excessive compulsive too.

Cheers

Wendy